Resilient You Part 1: Improving Resilience
Many of us have or will experience different things in life that could make us or break us. Whether that is growing up in a disadvantaged area or going through a traumatic experiences, it can all affect us differently. Are you resilient? Can you bounce back?
It is what happens after these bad experiences that determines our future. If you have been knocked down by life, do you stay down or do you come back stronger than ever?
According to Psychology Today,
“Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever.”
I have had a fair few knock downs, which you can read more about here.
Working through traumatic events can be terribly difficult, but would you like to know some tips to help you bounce back and be resilient? Then read on!
– Self Care –
When we face a difficult time, many of us often forget to take care of ourselves. We can forget to take time to do the activities we enjoy, cook healthy meals, see friends and avoid exercise. Additionally, many of us may be suffering with a lack of sleep.
Do not forget about you.
By taking the time for your own self care, you’ll improve your wellbeing. This will give you the strength to face your challenges and boost your resilience.
Self care to me means:
- Time with family and friends
- Time in the mountains & photography
- Time with a cup of tea and editing photos
- Cooking healthy food
What does self care mean to you?
– Support Network –
Do you have someone you can confide in? Or do you have people aroun you who care and are supportive, especially during a time of need or during a crisis?
Although talking to a friend, or even sitting with them for a cup of tea won’t make your problems disappear, it enables you to share your feelings; get them out in the open. Then you can get support and potentially get feedback and then find a solution to your troubles.
– Find a Sense of Purpose –
Have you discovered a pain point, a way you can help others or even something that you enjoy doing?
During a crisis, finding a sense of purpose can be vital in your recovery. This can be anything from helping people in your local community, dedicating more time to yoga or doing activities that you love.
Co-Blogger Aimee found herself in a crisis in 2017, she sold her house, car and all her belongings and left the UK. She is now living in Thailand and devoting a lot of time to practicing yoga, meditation and teaching English. This has been pivatol to her recovery and it helped her to be optimistic.
– Optimism & Self Belief –
It can be easy to only see the negative side to difficult periods, but what about:
- The things you have accomplished in life?
- Your strenghts?
- What could go right after this difficult time?
- The things that you can learn from these sitations?
Difficult times are temporary and the above points will remind you of your strengths and accomplishments. They’ll also help you to think positively.
Positive thinking usually means that you understand that the difficult time is temporary and that you have the ability to overcome the challenges.
I always used to see a dark tunnel of never ending challenges and negativity. Subsequently this plunged me into a sea of depression, with waves that would wash over my head.
I felt like I was drowing.
Fortunately I found relief in things that I once enjoyed and then I had the head space to make a plan to overcome challenges. Through these dark experiences, I have learnt that it is temporary. Consequently, I am more positive; knowing that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and with every challenge, there is something to learn.
These experiences make us grow. I see this as investing in my self growth.
– Problem Solving Skills & Goal Setting –
When we are in a deep hole, it is easy to feel that there is no solution to your problem and you can feel highly unmotivated; but there will be a solution. If you come up with a solution to a problem, this will help with optimism and coping.
Think of a list of things that you can do to solve or minimise the problem.
Are there anythings that motivate you? (it can be anything: being debt free, getting a job, going for a walk, leaving the house). Write it all down and if you need to, use your support network as a sounding board. Here are some points to write:
- What you want.
- A list of steps you need to take to get there.
- How long you want this to take you.
- Then make a list of the steps you need to take to get there.
These points will form your action plan in writing. By having your action plan in writing, you’ll have no excuse for forgetting about it. Additionally, you can see if it is feasible. There are in depth articles on setting goals here.
Problem solving skills are great for preparing us for big challenges in life
– Take Action & Solve Problems –
Some problems can be fixed immediately, while others take time. Although there might not be a quick fix to a problem, you can always take steps (from your action plan) to improving the situation. Consequently, this should relieve some of your stress.
Do you look ahead at the amount of tasks you still need to do? Or
do you look at the progress you made and plan your next steps?
Focussing on your progress and planning your next move will help you to feel more control of problem solving rather. Subsequently, this should decrease stress levels, improve self believe and optimism.
Resilience is a skill that we can all learn, but it takes time to build.
The more you practice the skills listed above, the more you will become resilient.